Beautiful people!

I feel like it has been awhile since I have blogged but I just wanted to give you a quick update on my life and what God has been doing. Recently I went to Dominican Republic on a missions trip. Not only did I see miracles but the trip in of itself was miraculous. As a teenager my heart always yearned to go on a mission trip, but I remember always feeling that it was something unattainable for me. Even verbalizing that right now makes me laugh because isn’t it funny how irrational that is! Needless to say, God proved me wrong, he helped me attain that deep desire in my heart and the irony was I went on my first mission trip as a 23 year old Minister – look at God.

So lets get back to it. I went to Dominican Republic with a Ministry I work for called God’s E.R. – which stands for Emergency Restoration. The verse that we stand on is “through Christ we are free from all things.” This ministry integrates psychological understanding and the word of God together to walk people through the deepest level of complete healing and freedom. We minister to people with schizophrenia, bi-polar, autism, depression, suicide, and even people who just need emotional or physical healing. Individuals meet one on one with Ministers, like myself, to fulfill the God given promise in peoples lives: free from ALL things. Yes I have actually seen people completely healed from schizophrenia, bi-polar, autism, depression, and literal physical healings.

Long story short we run and operate a full-time ministry in Tulsa, OK – that is our home base but we also send teams to travel with a ministry called The 99 (in the Dominican it is called El Xtremo) where we plant God’s E.R. programs. The truth of the matter is people are hurting. Real people, with real lives, with real problems, with real pains and with real needs! And we serve a God that is REAL and he is willing to really heal, really provide and really deliver! And Praise God he is using me to see people get radically touched by his love and power. The things I have seen in ministry sessions have literally changed my life as well as those who received ministry.

I kid you not, there is something about going to an underdeveloped country and see people receive the gospel truth – they soak it up like a sponge and miracles just break out. I absolutely fell in LOVE the Dominican culture and the people but I loved seeing God do the miraculous because of his love. I encountered God in so many different ways it would take me all day to tell you what he did in the 7 days I was abroad but I just wanted to share of a few instances.

The Man Who Was Healed: 

Each day while we would enter into prayer, we knew that God wanted us to pray with people who needed physical healing. On the 3^rd night of El Xtremo I saw a man walk into our tent that looked like one of his legs wasn’t functioning properly. After the preliminary prayer I asked one of our interpreters, Pastor Louis, to ask the man if he wanted us to pray for his leg. The man agreed and leaned completely over a near-by table, putting his face in his hands waiting for us to start praying. I knelt down and placed my hands on his leg, I closed my eyes and just allowed
the verses of scripture on healing to bubble up out of me. We maybe prayed for 30 seconds and when I finished the prayer and stood up, the Lord instantly healed his leg. I was absolutely beside myself. This was my first time ever seeing a miracle! Before we prayed he could only walk a few feet while dragging his un-usable leg. When he first came into the tent I watched him walk a few feet and then have to take a break; after our prayer he was able to walk completely normal with full weight on both legs. I remember thinking “there is no way he just got healed, that was so simple.” I actually didn’t even believe it at first, but I will never forget the joy and happiness on his face showed how thankful he was that he was able to walk again. Even telling this story moves me – Jesus is always willing to heal.

Visions of Jesus

When we weren’t at the tent with El Xtremo, we were at a local church training Dominicans and taking their people through personal ministry. A woman I ministered to was frustrated with me upon arrival for her personal ministry appointment because I did not speak Spanish, nor did I have an interpreter. Through very few Spanish words I had learned that morning and through the Google translate app, I slowly walked her through our one-on-one personal ministry process. During the forgiveness prayers there is time designated for emotional healing where the participant allows Jesus to speak his truth into the trauma’s and pains of their life to receive healing. During this particular session as I closed my eyes to pray for her I saw Jesus walk into the room, stand beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. Each time I closed my eyes I saw him there ministering to her on the right side with his hand on her shoulder. I had her write down in Spanish her experience – because each time we would pray she was overwhelmed with tears. Because of the language barrier I could only ask if she was doing okay and she would say “muy bien, gloria adios,” which means: very good, glory to God. I was extremely curious as to what she was experiencing throughout the session because I could sense such a sweet presence of God, all I knew was when I shut my eyes Jesus was standing beside her on her right side with his hand on her shoulder. Once we finished her personal ministry I took the testimony she wrote down to an interpreter. In the testimony she stated that she she had never experienced anything like God’s E.R. in her life, that she physically felt better and during the prayers Jesus came and stood beside her, put his hand on her shoulder as he healed her heart. Wow. wow. wow. wow.

.Another woman I ministered to, who also didn’t speak any English, the Lord gave me another vision during her emotional healing. In this vision he came down and grabbed her and took her to the throne room. When he took her to heaven she was a little girl, in a red dress with pink butterflies around her. God the Father placed her on his lap while Jesus and the Holy Spirit stood over her ministering to her – showing me the love he had for his daughter. In tears I opened my eyes feeling God’s tangible love for the 50 year old woman in front of me. I knew that the Lord gave me that vision because he was communicating to me he was healing the issues in her life that rooted from pain all the way back to when she was a 5 year old girl, who loved pink butterflies. She looked back up at me from this particular prayer and we both had hot tears streaming down our faces – we couldn’t speak each others language but we connected in that moment in such an intimate way; we both were overwhelmed with God’s love. Later that evening at the Spiritual Warfare Conference this woman stood up and testified about what God did in her personal ministry session. How God took her back to memories that she had long forgotten and healed every wound. She was one of our female ministers that showed up every night at El Xtremo to lead prayers in Spanish in our tent.

Overall my biggest testimony was watching people experience God’s love, I have endless stories I could share. I really want to tell you guys about when I saw an Angel but I think I will save that for another post.

I want you guys to start really thinking about the deep desires in your heart. There is deep desires you’ve had all of your life – just like me – that God is wanting to fulfill in THIS season you are in NOW. Write them down and even let us know so we can stand in faith with you for those things!

I would be doing you all a disservice if I didn’t extend an invitation for those of you who need healing. Maybe you have nightmares, you have suffered from anxiety attacks, maybe you feel depressed or just can’t get over certain things in your past. OR maybe you just need a physical healing – I can walk you through the God’s E.R. process helped me completely get over my own panic disorder and God can help you! I would LOVE to discuss these things with you please message me anytime!

Stay tuned! So much more to come!

Sonia Larcom

 

 

 

 

 

I am a childcare teacher. Every day is different and I learn things about my own life every day through the eyes of a child. It has caused me to see things from a new perspective.

Working with children, you hear the greatest stories from the purest hearts. I love how honest children are. Some days they are more honest with me than I am with myself. They straight up tell me I look tired that day, or I look old, or because I am a teacher I am too old to have a mommy. The list goes on and on.

My most favorite question to ask kids is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I’m not sure why I love asking it, but the response always makes me smile. Ninja turtles is probably the most popular answer, but there’s a fair share of princesses, superheroes, and so on.

Their answers always intrigue me because it shows our ability as humans to dream, even at a young age. We were born to be dreamers. If fear of rejection, failure, and loss didn’t exist, just think of how much bigger we would dream.

I always wonder at what point those children come to the conclusion that they won’t actually be superheroes and princesses. I know we don’t live in a fairytale, and as far as I know there isn’t an unknown superhero world, but why should that stop us from dreaming?

When I was a young child, I was convinced I would be a “baby doctor”. I remember watching “A Baby Story” on TLC every day. I took the job of taking care of my baby dolls VERY serious. I didn’t know how difficult it was to actually become a doctor. No one ever told me that part. I just kept on dreaming.

Next, I wanted to be a dancer and a singer – which, if you know me you would probably laugh because doing both of those things in public frighten me. All I wanted was to be famous, now all I want is to be happy in life. (That was really deep)

At one point I wanted to be the president, but who doesn’t? I did end up becoming student body president of my school three years in a row, so I guess I became president, just not how I imagined it.

Then there came a point in time where I decided I have no idea what I want to be, and like the rest of the world, I’m still figuring it out.

Sometimes the kids will ask me, “Miss Mallek, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Mostly I say “I don’t know”, because, I really just don’t know, but recently when I was asked, I told them I wanted to be Spiderman. I’m not quite sure why I told them that (I would much rather be Elsa or Anna). I think it’s because I want them to know that they don’t have to stop dreaming.

When I told them, they weren’t surprised. They didn’t laugh and say “Miss Mikayla, you can’t be that!” They just simply shrugged it off like it was nothing new and went on with the rest of their day.

Let’s be real, folks…

I know I’m not going to be a baby doctor, but what if God placed that desire in my heart at a young age because He knew I was destined to be a mother.

I can assure you I won’t become a dancer and a singer, but what if God placed those desires in my heart because he knew I would be a worshipper.

As much as I still would love to be president, I know that the chances are slim, but what if God placed that desire in my heart because one day I would grow up and change nations? What if one day I would grow up to become a leader and pioneer a movement?

We don’t always know why God gives us desires, but I am fully convinced that those desires have a purpose. We might not be called to be superheroes, but we are called to save those around us and show them the love of Christ. We aren’t all going to be princesses but we are all royalty and are princes and princesses of the one true King.

If you have a dream – however absurd or crazy or preposterous you tell yourself it might be.. there’s a reason for it. Your dreams and desire are what make you who you are. They might turn out much differently than you imagined, but don’t lose sight of them.

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Thanks for reading, and as always, don’t hesitate to #JoinTheConversation. We want to hear your story!

xoxo,

-MJ

 

We are so excited for you to hear from Sonia Larcom. She is one of our in-house authors and one of the founders of            U N E S C O R T E D. 

You can always connect with her more on Instagram / Facebook / Linkedin  – hope you guys enjoy this weeks blog post on emotional wholeness!

 

Okay so don’t judge me, but I have a confession: I love listening to talk radio. But not just talk radio – I’m the person who always has a sermon blaring in the car and if I owned a TV I’d probably always have TBN on. In the past 2 years I’ve heard bits and pieces from of a sermon from Rick Warren called “Picking a life Partner.” Each time I heard the rerun of this message on the radio – it gave me a new perspective on Christian Dating. In this sermon he discusses the biblical pre-requisites for marriage and one of the items on the list was: emotional wholeness – is the person you’re dating emotionally whole?

You see, the concept of marrying someone who is emotionally stable is pretty common sense. We all know it’s a red-flag if he say’s he loves you after two weeks, or calls multiple times if you don’t answer – and if you didn’t know that was a red flag let me tell you now: Run girl. Run for your life.

But this is the thing, there is a difference between emotional stability and emotional wholeness. There are many amazing men and women out in the world who are emotionally stable but aren’t emotionally whole. This realization was so incredibly profound to me because it gave me a word to describe what I wanted for my own life: wholeness. I had been healed of deep emotional wounds, and I was stable but I wasn’t whole.

This is where people get confused because they will equate healing with wholeness. Let me show you the distinction: In Mark 3:1-6 Jesus restored a man’s hand that was completely withered. People would easily say “Jesus healed the man with the withered hand, ” and thats incorrect! That man didn’t need a healing, he needed wholeness – Jesus restored his hand! Made is whole! Most of the time healing and wholeness do work hand in hand but they are very different (Pun definitely not intended).

I will use my life as an example: I am a fatherless woman. I can truly say that I am healed of any emotional wound of not having a father but its just like that guys hand, it was an area of my life that was withered. I’m sure the man with the withered hand figured out how to compensate for the hand he was dealt (I’m sorry for the puns). I’m sure he figured out a way to put on his clothes with one hand, feed himself with one hand and be a stable person with just one hand. This was me, I had adapted to the handicap of not having a father. It’s a handicap not because I pitied myself, it was a handicap because I was missing a crucial role in my life that God intended for me to have. Jesus didn’t restore the mans hand because he pitied him, Jesus himself knows how resilient human beings are, he knew that this man could find a way to live life with just one hand – thats not the point! Jesus restored him because God intended for us all to have two fully functioning hands!

God knows that you are able to adapt from the losses of this life and still cary on – how do you think nonbelievers are able to keep moving forward! I’m telling you, we are so resilient! But God doesn’t just want you to exist and adapt to the areas in your life that are withered – he wants to make you completely whole! He has done that in my life. Earlier in the post I called myself a Fatherless woman – and even typing that felt wrong because I’m no longer a Fatherless woman – I have a Heavenly Father now and he has completely restored that withered area of my life. You know, I’ve met multiple people who have later told me that they were shocked that I was raised by a single mother; because they were convinced I had a strong father in my life. God gets all the glory for making me so whole in this area it was as if I really did grow up with a godly father. Understand something: what he’s done in my life, he will do in yours. I don’t know what areas of your life that are withered, but during this season of single hood let the Lord restore you and make you completely whole.

I really want to dive more into this topic of wholeness so be looking for a future post on this subject! I love you guys and I’m so thankful for U N E S C O R T E D – a community where we can truly share our hearts and glean from one another! Don’t forget to #jointheconversation and let us know your thoughts on emotional wholeness?

Until Then  – XOXO

Sonia Dee

“I am so excited for you guys to hear from someone so significant to me and my walk with God. Shelby Stewart is one of my dearest friends – her heart for God is inspiring. It’s not very often you find a young woman with such a drive to serve and honor God. In this message she is very transparent and I know you guys will be blessed by it! Shelby, I love you –  I hope you guys enjoy!”        – Sonia Larcom,

U N E S C O R T E D Author & Founder 

 

Here we are, 2017- a brand new year. Something about it, the newness of a year, gets us excited. Perhaps it gives us hope; and for a lot of us a hope that things will change in 2017  – we will change. If we’re being honest, though, the new year doesn’t really change anything. The first day of 2017 didn’t miraculously change us, our state of mind, thoughts, walk with God, or relationships. Truthfully, we enter 2017 in the same condition we left 2016. And, how many of us find ourselves in a place of complacency accepting our current condition?

When I say current condition – I am not talking about your condition of singleness, but I’m talking about conditions in your life during this season. The struggles you experienced in 2016 can be changed if we allow God to change us in 2017. He has given us power over our condition. All throughout Scripture, especially when Jesus walked the earth, God revealed how deeply He cares about our human condition, all of it: spiritual, physical, and our overall well being. Not only does He care, but He is out to improve our current conditions. For example, Jesus went out and healed bodies (physical), cast out demons (spiritual), and taught us what we need to know to live holy lives and be close to the Father (improving our character). He healed, freed, and taught people in the midst of their current conditions. He does this for us today, too.

This is good news- it means in 2017 we don’t have to stay the same! I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to stay in this same state forever.  And, in this single season it’s all the more important to allow God to work on our conditions to make us better NOW (better, not perfect) – rather than start once we get married. The only way we will walk out all of our news year resolutions in 2017 is if we: recognize our current condition, believe for change, and then allow God to change us.

For each of us, this may look different. Some may need God’s freedom from a current condition of an addiction, bad habit, a healing, a needed revelation or just Gods help with self-control, patience, or even prayer. Whatever area(s) it might be for each of us, one thing remains, whether we believe it or not: we all need improved in some way. But most importantly we all need God’s grace and strength to help us get there- it’s sufficient and perfect (2 Cor 12:9).

To be vulnerable, one area I was in complete bondage was food: overeating and no self-control. I was in a constant cycle of trying to over-control in an unhealthy manner. The cycle of shame and torment I experienced from this sinful habit was consuming and often sucked the joy of life right out of me. I was deceived in believing this was a condition I would be stuck in my whole life. Then, the Holy Spirit gave me a word about not accepting things that steal, kill, or destroy (John 10:10). This cycle of sin and shame most certainly did steal, kill and destroy (so thank God He is helping me through and freeing me in this area before sending me a husband!!!) So, if something in any way steals, kills, or destroys we should not accept it because it is obviously not of God: the Father of Truth; but instead of the devil: the father of lies (John 8:44). Over time I finally believed my current condition does not have to be my “forever condition”, and oh how relieved it has made me. Even in the darkest pit of shame He revealed He can indeed change these sinful habits and make me new . . . and free (Gal 5:1, 2 Cor 5:17). He’s out to improve us in whatever way we need or desire- right in the middle of our current condition. Day-by-day (2 Cor 4:16).

God is showing us we don’t have to simply “accept” things in our lives that aren’t of Him. Sickness, disease, addiction, jealousy, envy, apathy, self-hate, condemnation, complacency, shame, guilt, discouragement, and the like are not of Him. We don’t have to accept them as “normal” or “stuck” as part of our condition. Resist the lies! Then, God needs our faith and belief, willingness and obedience- even when we don’t see change or improvement. More often than not it’s a process.

Honestly, I am still a total work in progress (Sonia knows firsthand) and fall short far too often, in my opinion. However, the difference now is I have hope, hope for real change over time in multiple areas. Like I said earlier you have to recognize your current condition, believe for change, and then allow God to change you! And when I doubt His promises of victory over this area in my life, He brings me right back to a chapter I’ve found great assurance in; Psalm 103. It’s just one example of many where His Word gives us confirmation that He is out to renew, restore, reconcile, heal, deliver, and set people free from all things through Jesus Christ. In other words, whatever new years resolution you’ve made for 2017 – he is able to transform you from your current condition – so let him!

Happy New Year!!

Shelby Stewart

Social Media Handle: @shelbystewart

        It’s Christmas morning, you pop out of bed because you’re so excited to open your presents. Running down the stairs nearly falling because you are that excited to see what’s awaiting you. Once downstairs you see a huge package under the tree so perfectly wrapped with the cutest little bow on the top. Without hesitation, you start shredding through the wrapping paper to see what could be inside this incredible looking present. After the wrapping paper is off and you open the box you notice that your gift has not only been opened but it has been used and damaged as well. Of course, you’d be furious or at least you should be. Someone not only already opened your present but they used it, had their fun with it, broke it and then rewrapped it, all before you even were given a chance to see what it was.

          The sad thing is, when it comes to relationships we do this to one another every day, this is the social norm. We see a guy or girl we really like, we share a common interest in each other and begin dating. After a while one or both of us start to realize that our significant other is not the one we want to walk the down the aisle towards or say “I do” to. Yet, instead of loving and valuing them enough to let them go and find the one whom their souls truly loves, we use them, play with them and their emotions and sometimes damage them and their hearts; without fully realizing it we are using and damaging another person’s gift that was never ours to begin with.

          Devastated and heartbroken you sit there starring at your broken and wrongly used gift trying to figure out a way to make it whole again. It’s not fair, you never got to enjoy it to the fullest and you were never given the chance to embrace the beauty of the way it was created to be used. You weren’t the one that destroyed it, yet you’re the one left with the broken pieces to try and put back together. Can you imagine if we would begin to see relationships and people this way? Each individual you begin a relationship with is a gift and should be treated as such. You see, the problem with destroying a gift that isn’t yours is we’ll never truly see the ramifications of our actions. Nine times out of ten you never see or interact with the individual the gift actually belonged to. We never see the broken pieces we’ve left for them to try and put back together.

           If you stop to think about it for just a second you’ll notice that a lot of failed relationships failed because of trust issues. A big question is what is the source of all of these trust issues that are being developed within so many people? Could it be from a past relationship where the person that they “loved” took their heart for a roller coaster ride then left it somewhere in the dirt because they never truly saw or appreciated their heart’s value in the first place?

          I heard a story of a young man, we’ll name him Joe, who starting dating a girl, and we’ll name her Elisa. Joe and Elisa had been dating for about 6 months when Joe began to fall in love. He’d never fallen in love with anyone before so he knew this girl was something special. Joe immediately began saving up for a ring so that soon he could ask the love of his life to make him the happiest man alive and marry him. Their one year anniversary quickly approached but something was wrong; Joe hadn’t heard from Elisa in over a week. She didn’t answer any text messages or phone calls and Joe was beginning to get very concerned. When he called her family to see if any of them had heard from her, he was ignored. She didn’t have a Facebook, or so Elisa told him, so he couldn’t check if she had been on social media. For Joe it seemed like the end of the world. Days past and finally he heard from Elisa and she wanted to meet up. Joe was overjoyed and excited to see his girl. However, when he arrived at the meeting place he quickly noticed that Elisa was not alone. She was waiting for him with another man. Elisa began to explain to Joe that she was only living in his state temporarily and introduced the other young man as her boyfriend of three years whom she was madly in love with from her home state. She apologized for leading Joe on and said she didn’t want to be alone while she lived here and quite frankly, a girl’s gotta eat right? Joe felt betrayed, heartbroken, humiliated and crushed for all the obvious reasons. Can you imagine that? The love of your life disappears then comes back into your life only to announce that they had been in a serious relationship before you met, their relationship had continued throughout your entire relationship, and you were only being used for social status and so she wasn’t lonely.

         Three years have passed and Joe is still single, has never fallen in love or even been in a relationship since Elisa. The thought of getting his heart broken again terrifies him completely so he decided to avoid love and relationships all together. One day, Joe went to his usual coffee shop that he goes to twice a week, like clock-work, and sees a new employee whose name is Kara. He notices her right away and doesn’t say anything, but every week, twice a week he looks forward to seeing Kara at the coffee shop. Finally, after some months of fighting his fear and anxiety he asks Kara out and to his surprise, she said yes! The two of them go out and almost instantly there was chemistry between them. It was strong, vibrant and felt so thick you could probably cut through it with a knife. Joe went home that day on cloud nine and the happiest he had been in a long time, but once he got home his fear caught up with him and soon that fear turned to anxiety. If the chemistry with Kara was that strong after one date, he couldn’t imagine how he would feel in the days to follow and he couldn’t bare being heartbroken again. So, he slowly started pushing Kara away before they had a chance to develop anything real.

          Intense story right? Almost like it was fiction? Think again, this story was very real with changes made to respect the people in it. The character I want to focus on for the sake of this blog is Kara. How do you think she felt? She met this kind, good looking guy, agreed to go out on a date with him and the chemistry was almost instant. She couldn’t wait to get to know him more and more but because of another person’s selfishness she was never given the opportunity to discover that gift or truly see its value. She was handed the already opened and damaged gift and she unfortunately, was not able to put those broken pieces back together.

          Now some of you may be wondering, “How in the world do you get to know someone without mistreating or using someone else’s gift? You won’t know the gift is yours until you open it right?” I’m not saying don’t go out on dates or don’t get to know people, you absolutely should. Pursue them, get to know them, learn what they like and what they dislike but while doing so be mindful and protective of their hearts. Treat them with the same care and respect you’d like them to treat you and your heart. If during that time you find that they are the one your soul has been longing for, run into the sunset and don’t look back. BUT if at any moment you’re at a point where you cannot see yourself together years later or at the alter one day saying “I do”, let them go. Don’t continue to allow both of your hearts to get intertwined more and more knowing that one day this will all lead to heartbreak. It’s nearly impossible to begin the process of a relationship with someone without getting emotionally involved. However, don’t use someone else for social status or to fill the void of loneliness only to dump them off when the next best thing comes along. Treasure each and every gift that is given to you and if you find that they aren’t yours, think about whom they actually belong to and work to preserve their hearts and emotions in the best way you can.

             The greatest things in life are the ones that cost you something because only then can you truly see the value it holds and only then would you do anything in your power to protect it. The most valuable gifts are worth waiting for. So, wait patiently for your perfect gift that is untarnished and in the meantime take care of other’s gifts that cross your path. Help them find the one to whom they belong by honoring the value they hold. Be honest with yourself to determine whether or not the gift you’re holding is truly your gift.

 

Thank you for reading,

Kendria

Okay people, we’ve all been there. I know I’m not the only one guilty of saying this when I don’t find someone physically attractive (just being real). For the most part, we say this when we look at someone’s appearance and judge them immediately based on what we think our significant other should look like.

 We all have this cute Hallmark fantasy in our heads of what we want our spouse to look like, right? Their eyes, hair, sense of style, number of Instagram followers…I could go on. We are so focused on their outward appearance at times that we are unable to see past what they look like to who they really are; their attributes that are hidden like a heart of gold and a strong character. This breaks my heart, and it happens all of the time for guys and girls alike. 

 Now maybe you’re wondering, “What even is a type”? I’ve wondered the same thing. I guess you could call it a “preference”, but it’s more of an outward preference based on physical appearance. Usually when we say, “He’s not my type,” we aren’t talking about his personality unless we’ve taken the time to get to know him. (That’s a completely different story!) When we say this, we are basing it off of our first impression of them and how they look.

Let’s be real, how shallow is it to deny someone a chance to love you simply because they don’t look exactly how you expected them to?

 Here’s the thing about the world we live in – we are so focused and driven by appearance. It is drilled into our culture starting at a young age. Unfortunately, we are the product of our environment. A child could be raised in a family that helped them to develop the greatest amount of self-esteem, yet they may still think they’re not good enough solely based on the high standards of society. They wouldn’t see themselves the way their family sees them and especially not the way God sees them. If we aren’t able to see ourselves the way God sees us, how can we truly see others the way God sees them. We’ll begin to scrutinize every detail about them the same way we pick a part and try to perfect every detail about ourselves.

 The irony of it all is that most married people I’ve talked to have told me they didn’t end up marrying their “type” – not even close. For example, my parents weren’t even attracted to each other before they started dating (that’s a whole other blog). This is a huge reason why I’ve completely written off the idea of having a “type”. I know that God has a sense of humor, and whoever my spouse is; he will probably be nothing like I expect him to be.  

I met a guy once, and in my eyes he was exactly my type. Like, it was almost scary. After things didn’t work out, I realized that it’s hard to have a “type”. Don’t get me wrong, there needs to be some non-negotiables. A few of mine are: he needs to love Jesus, coffee, and have the ability to put up with me all of the time. But I think that in the end, whoever you end up with will be someone who perfectly completes you. Someone that you wouldn’t expect to end up with in a million years – or at least that’s what I hear all the time.

 In my opinion the idea in our heads of what we think our spouse should look like will be quickly squandered the moment we meet someone who is completely the opposite of our type, yet somehow we fall in love with them. In those moments we realize that beneath the skin, is a person. A person who maybe we never thought we would love. But as we grow closer to them and get to know them for who they are, they just may become so much more attractive than we ever thought possible.

 Ephesians 3:20 tells us that our God is able to do exceedingly more than we could ever ask, think, or even imagine. So, while their hair color may not match the dream you’ve been dreaming your entire life, trust God with the details. He wants to do more for us that what we can begin to wrap our minds around.

 Another one of my favorite verses is 1 Samuel 16:7 it says, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

 This is such a simple concept, but once it’s grasped, we will begin to change how we look at potential prospects. We’ll also begin to change how we look at ourselves.

 If you get nothing else from this blog, I hope you hold onto these words. This simple phrase sums up the point I hope to get across.

 Looks are NOT everything!

 Now, don’t get me wrong, being attracted to your significant other is important in a relationship. But like I said, I believe that as you grow closer to that person and see them for who they are – their silly quirks and habits, you will naturally fall more in love with them and become more attracted to them. It won’t be something that is based on an emotion or momentary feeling; it will be a genuine attraction that only comes from falling in love with every single part of what makes up who they are.

 Let’s not be so focused on the way a person looks that we fail to see beyond their looks, and get to their heart. This is where a person’s true attractiveness and value comes from. Be cautious but stay open to the idea that just maybe God has someone out there that we may be overlooking because we’re busy searching for the wrong thing. Just maybe He knows us better than we know ourselves. And just maybe He plans on blowing our minds with the better half He has for us if we’d only choose to let go of our “type” and make room for HIS.

 You are all so beautiful, each and every one of you!  Thanks for reading!

–   MJ

Hello my Friends,

Today I’m thrilled to introduce to you our first male guest blogger on Unescorted! This is my good friend, Stephan Gregoire, who I grew up with back in Austin, Texas. He is now a full time missionary in Mexico and is doing amazing things for the glory of God! I’m proud to know him and I’m honored that he would take the time to share his heart with us on Unescorted. He’s single and thriving in what God has called him to, so he fits in nicely with the Unescorted crew!! I pray you all enjoy the powerful, yet practical truths he shares with us today!  Love y’all! – Rae. xx

 

As a young adult you may find yourself in a period of reinventing or rediscovering your life. If you’re in your twenties and feel like you’re having a quarter-life crisis, don’t fret; tons of famous inventors, performers, and entrepreneurs didn’t start until their thirties or later.

I want to talk about a recent discovery that turned my life around. I’ve always been a pretty idealistic guy with big hopes and dreams, but I’ve also been the kind of guy not to finish what he started. Let me give you five tips that turned me from someone who didn’t reach the goals he set, to someone who consistently accomplishes them.

Step 1 – Understand what you honestly want.

This is the first and biggest major key, for me anyways. As a young man I was the type who was happy to do what parents, pastors, and teachers told me. This isn’t a bad thing, it made sense to me, and it worked out towards a lot of my success. However, if you never learn to think and decide for yourself, you may find yourself where I was: Doing everything right, but extremely frustrated and unhappy in life.

I was pressuring myself with desires that others wanted for me – not my own.

If you’re not reaching your goals, it may be because you’re imposing goals on yourself that you feel you should want. (Quick pro life tip: never live by “should”). It can be a few things causing this. Well-meaning leaders pressuring you, or you’re comparing yourself to others, or you misunderstand God’s plan for your life.

Look – God wired you with your own internal deep desires. When something is connected to your destiny, there’s an inexplicable magnetic feeling that just feels “right”. When something is not God’s plan for you, something will just feel “off.” This is hard to describe, so the best thing I can say is test it out by trial and error to learn what your gut is telling you.

Do this: stop and take an account of what you actually want in life.

Write a list down on a piece of paper or a note on your phone. Be honest with yourself. Resist the urge to put things you should want, and resist the feeling that what you’re writing down may seem selfish. This should be a short list – maybe two or three items even. For example, here’s what mine ended up looking like:

…now we have something to work with.

Step 2 – Visualize the result.

Now that you’ve got an honest inventory of your biggest desires, this is the part where they turn into dreams. The cheesy saying is true, that if you can imagine it, you can create it.

Let’s use my “be fit” item for an easy example. I had dabbled in the gym but never took it seriously, even though it was a big part of what I wanted to accomplish. The “eureka” moment came when I took an honest account of where I was at, and imagined what I would look like in a year with consistent training. Because of this image I invested in the gym like never before.

Pick one of your desires and let your mind wander as you picture it in your head.

Say you want to be a conference speaker. Can you imagine the stage design? How big the crowd is? The demographic of the audience? The number of spotlights? Can you see yourself saying the types of things you want to say?

This is what people are talking about when they say they have a vision. This picture in your head can give you focus and motivation.

Step 3 – Set an amount, and set a deadline.

The Bible says in Habakkuk, “write the vision down, make it plain.” Making your vision plain – here’s where your dreams turn into actual goals.

Option 1: Start with an amount

To begin saving up to travel the world, first I had to get out of debt. This was an easy amount to figure out – whatever amount I needed to pay off to get back to $0! I figured out how much extra I could pay off each month by cutting back my spending. Then I counted how many months it would take to reach zero. It wasn’t as hopeless as I thought, and within a year I was debt-free.

Option 2: Start with a deadline

Another idea is to come up with a time frame first, and then figure out a realistic amount to be reached by that time. For fitness, I gave myself a timeline of one year, then researched how much muscle strength could be gained in that time. I was pleasantly surprised when I surpassed it at the year’s mark.

Whether you start by picking an amount or a deadline, your goal needs both (otherwise it’s not a goal!)

Note, not all goals can be quantified into an amount so obviously. Maybe your desire is to learn something. You can translate that into a goal such as “take 10 classes in this field of study.”

One last thing. For now, only focus on one goal, and one with a time frame in less than one year. Once you’re making progress, then you can begin working on another goal at the same time, or thinking about goals that have longer time frames.

Step 4 – Google a plan.

You know the what, the when, and the how much. Now it’s time for the how.

Notice I don’t want you to come up with a plan. There are a hundred experts who have already laid out the steps to do what you want. Consult Professor Google or visit the University of YouTube and find someone who seems like they know what they’re talking about. It’s literally as easy as typing “how to get x amount of y in z months” into the search bar.

Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps were a great resource for getting out of debt. Plenty of bodybuilding websites have proven workout routines. eHow has steps for basically anything you can imagine.

Don’t worry about finding the best plan for now. Just find anything that gives you steps that you can start working on. If you find a new plan later on that works better for you, then by all means, switch to that.

Following these steps is how you’re going to realize the goal. Now there’s just one more thing you need to do.

Step 5 – Make a lifestyle decision.

Smart people know that diets don’t work. You lost weight, but once you stop the diet, you just gain the weight right back. If you want a lasting change, then you need to make an actual change that will last forever.

A lifestyle decision is basically this: what will you say no to from now on?

Working out with a busy schedule meant waking earlier to get to the gym. Waking earlier meant going to bed earlier. That meant no more “falling asleep” to Netflix.

Cutting back spending by not going out with friends was harder. You don’t want to let them down, but they keep inviting you. Having consciously decided ahead of time that, “no, I’m not going to go to movies or restaurants” made it easier to stand my ground. Eventually, we came up with better, more fun, and cheaper things to do.

When this gets difficult, go back to that mental image of your goal fulfilled, and remind yourself that there are bigger things than how you feel right now.

Congratulations – you’re on your way to what you’ve always wanted. And you’ll find the results will come much quicker than you expected. You’re no longer sitting around hoping it to arrive someday. I don’t profess to be some guru, heck, I’m in the same early adulthood singleness as the rest of you. But I can say that these 5 tips have worked wonders for me.

Bonus Round – What to expect.

Expect setbacks. You might get sick, things come up, priorities change. It’s not a big deal. Just recalculate.

Expect criticism. Other people aren’t gonna get it. I don’t know why some people feel the need to talk you down when your priorities don’t line up with theirs, but they do. Listen to what they have to say, smile and say thanks, but if it doesn’t help you, throw their bad advice away. Also, don’t talk about your goals unless someone asks. It can feel frustrating when someone else isn’t passionate about something like you are, but that’s normal.

Expect your wants to change over time. After a while pursuing something you might realize it just wasn’t for you. Depending on the time invested, it may feel devastating. But take all the good that you learned from it and adjust. You didn’t waste a thing. Life is a forever adventure of discovering the world and discovering yourself. Change, even in yourself, is a part of it.

Most importantly, expect results. Expect your hard work to pay off, and expect people to notice.

Thanks for reading!

– Stephan G.

 

When you think of the phrase “trust issues” what comes to your mind? What are the typical scenarios that cause such issues? An unfaithful partner, a friend who stabbed you in the back, or maybe someone you highly admired that disappointed you. We live in a world full of humans that are well…human. We let each other down constantly and all people in some way or another have reservations when it comes to trusting other people.  This is a topic that has more than earned the right of an entire blog post because we can all relate to it. However, PLOT TWIST, those aren’t the trust issues being discussed today. Instead, let’s talk about YOU! (Isn’t that so much more fun??)

On a scale of 1 – 10 how much would you say you trust yourself? (Dramatic pause so you can stop and actually rate yourself…) If you’re having a hard time coming up with a number think about it like this. When you have to make a really tough decision for your life– can you come up with a solution on your own and be ok with that, or do you have to call anyone willing to listen to help validate the conclusion you THINK you’ve come to? If something happens to make you feel a little insecure– do you look yourself in the mirror and determine to walk confidently, or do you search high and low for someone or something that can help you to feel secure again? I’d say you’re at a pretty solid 10 if you would do the “right thing” in either of those scenarios! However, if you’re thinking your life mirrors more of the “wrong thing” to do, JOIN THE CLUB……WELCOME! Haha! Let’s get real, if I’m being honest I would have to give myself a whopping 4 in the being able to trust myself department. I HAVE TRUST ISSUES! There have been so many times where I’m confident and feel good about something God has told me to do or I simply wanted to do, then one person asks a question or says something negative and my confidence flies out of the window. I can’t live life this way and neither can you! If we do we will always be taking two steps forward then five steps back. There’s no way progress can be made in our lives if our decisions reflect a seesaw, constantly going up then crashing back down because we don’t trust ourselves enough to boldly move forward.

In beginning to trust ourselves we will see growth and change in our lives. The first two things that come to my mind are confidence and clarity. The first of the two seems pretty obvious; the very reason we can’t seem to trust ourselves is because we lack the confidence to do it!  The more we live life not giving one care in the world about what others will think, the more a bold and unshakable confidence will grow within us. Every single time you take that huge risk and rock that Pinterest outfit you’ve always wanted to WITHOUT face timing your bestie for a last minute boost of confidence, the more your confidence to wear whatever in the world you want to wear will grow!! I know, so freeing!! It’s almost humorous to think that the people in our lives that let us down at times are the very ones we turn to when we are in need of security and confidence. Don’t misunderstand, I LOVE people and people in our lives are needed and God- given, but they aren’t God. We will never find in them what can only be found in HIM. He loves us deeper than we could imagine (Romans 8:39) and when everyone in our life takes off, He never will (Deuteronomy 31:8).  Let your confidence rest in HIM and who He has created you to be!!

Number two, clarity or we could say, a clear vision for life. Growing up it wasn’t hard for me to be a “good girl” because I thrived off of making everyone happy. My fuel for life was making my parents proud. As I began to get older and even today this bleeds over into trying to “please” everyone. (I use quotations because this is absolutely impossible!!) It wasn’t until I began to ask myself, “What do YOU want to do?” that I began to make sense of my life. I had clarity and a vision for what I wanted my life to look like and then began to develop a plan in how to make that happen. Proverbs 29:18 says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” If we feel stuck in a rut and lack a clear plan just MAYBE it’s due to a lack of confidence. Could it be that you really do know what to do but refuse to do it because of the fear of what others may think? Maybe your “plan or purpose” doesn’t look as grand as the person next to you so you feel inferior. Roy T. Bennett once said this, “The more you believed in yourself, the more you could trust yourself. The more you trust yourself, the less you compare yourself to others.” It is impossible to successfully move forward if we make a habit of looking back or to the side.

Find YOU, do YOU BOO, and then be confident and never waiver because God made you amazing just the way you are. YOU are brilliant, YOU are beautiful, YOU are significant, YOU are a world-changer; and no opinion, insecurity, past decision, or dirty look will ever change that!! Be the beautiful you that only you can be. Accomplish the things that you and only you can accomplish by trusting yourself and most importantly trusting God to lead and guide you every step of the way. You do that and for you to fail is absolutely impossible!

 

I love y’all!!

Until next time,

Rae.xx

Hello Everyone!

Meet Brooke. Brooke and her husband, Andrew are the Young Adult Leaders at my church, Refuge. She is a wonderful friend of mine and is someone that you can’t help but love! Brooke is an amazing example of someone who made the most out of her season of singleness. I trust you will be encouraged by this blog post, as I absolutely was!

Enjoy!

-MJ

Making the Most of Your Season

I was never the little girl that always dreamed of being married or being a mom someday. I don’t remember it hardly ever crossing my mind. I mean, I knew I would get married and wanted to, but it wasn’t this overwhelming desire. And now, here I am, married for almost 4 years with 2 kids. I honestly never thought I would be the “stay at home mom” or that girl who looked like she was half-crazy chasing a toddler around with a baby on her hip and a husband by her side. It was never me. But now it is! I tell you that to say that I loved being single. I didn’t have a strong desire to get married. But that wasn’t always a good thing.

During high school, I was single until my junior year. And I loved it for all the wrong reasons. I partied and hung out with lots of different guys and I took pride in the fact that I wasn’t “tied down.” Then, I dated someone for almost 3 years, and as I left home and went to college, I met other guys and didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t hang out with them. So in my attempt to be “free” I broke up with him and moved on. Shortly after trying all there was to try, I found myself empty whether I was with a guy or not.I finally gave up running and sprinted back to the only One who truly made me happy, Jesus! And this is the part where I was finally single for the right reasons.

I went to Bible school in Arkansas, all by myself, not knowing anyone else and I was single and loving it! For the whole next year and a half, I had the time of my life. You could say I was so in love with Jesus that I didn’t have a strong desire to date, let alone be married, and it was great! I studied, traveled, went on missions trips, and made new friends.

Although a year and half doesn’t sound like a very long time, in my spiritual life it seemed like forever. It was a time that God used to grow me and mature me in my faith like never before. Now don’t get me wrong, I did think about guys and wonder what my future husband would look like, what his name would be, where he was, or if maybe I had met him already. And I’ll admit I probably flirted with guys more than I should have and I had a couple guys that were interested in dating me. They were cute and loved God just like I did, but for some reason, God protected me from desiring any of them. It’s like I couldn’t quite see past my relationship with Jesus and I know now that God did that for a reason – because my future husband was already waiting for me back home in Wisconsin, I just didn’t know it yet!

As I was thinking about what that single season of life was like for me, I was reminded of some things I wish I would have known or done differently and also some things that really helped me and I hope they can encourage you no matter where you are at right now.

1. Let God work on you NOW.

The struggles you have when you’re single, don’t just “go away” when you get married, it’s actually the opposite – they get magnified. Oh, how I wish I knew this when I was single! I wish I would have talked through some of the things I struggled with from my past. Things like purity, handling my emotions, hurts from other people, or caring too much about what I looked like or my body image. Or even just questions I had: questions about men, sex, God, and doubts or fears I had. Those things didn’t just go away when I got married, in fact, they all came out! So, talk to God about anything you struggle with or have questions about and let Him root them out of you and sort them out during this season of life before you involve another person in them.

I like to think of God as The Great Surgeon; we all need open heart surgery to fix some of the things that are wrong inside of us and if you let Him he will do it and you’ll be a better, healthier person afterwards, better equipped to do His work on this earth. If you have doubts or fears or questions, talk to someone about them and be honest and real. Talk to God about them, too. Begin to let Him search the deepest parts of you. Sometimes that can be scary because only we know the deepest secrets we hold. But He knows too and He is always gentle, loving, and kind when we give them up to Him.

2. Don’t label yourself as a “single” person.

What? Aren’t we talking about being single? Yes, but let me explain. Sometimes constantly viewing yourself as “single” brings along with it an underlying feeling of incompleteness or waiting. Like you’re in some phase of life that is not quite good enough. Or you’re in some season that is somehow incomplete or lacking…until you get married. And eventually that will become your identity.

The truth is you are not waiting for anything. You are not lacking anything. When or if you get married someday, you still will not have finally arrived and if you have trained yourself to feel incomplete in this season of life, what makes you think you won’t feel that way once you are finally married? Don’t view your season of singleness as incomplete until you find “the one.” It is completely possible for you to be totally fulfilled, happy, purposeful, and content right now just as when you are married someday. In fact, that’s what God has called you to. You are not in some phase of life where you are waiting for something greater to come along.

The key is to finding that in Christ you are completely and totally fulfilled RIGHT now no matter what season of life you are in. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to desire a guy, desire to be married, talk about, and pray about your future husband. But those thoughts, words, and prayers should come from a foundation of contentment and peace. Ultimately, His will is that you desire Him more than anyone or anything else and marriage will only be another tool to draw you closer to Himself.

Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking: “That’s easier said than done, Brooke! Or, I know, I’ve heard that all before,” or, “that’s easy for you to say now that you’re married.” And it’s true. It is easier for me to say now that I’m not going through it. But, the part I didn’t know is that God could give me the grace (power and ability) to actually walk it out. To be completely fulfilled and content where I was at. He will give you that if you ask Him. I think it’s a great lesson for every human being to learn and one I had to learn the hard way after I got married. But you can grab a hold of it now!

3. Have fun!

This is the part that I excelled at and I have no regrets. I was adventurous. I went on road trips, mission trips, and I traveled a lot. I traveled to Peru, Nicaragua, and several southern states in the US. I saw things that helped me grow in my faith and my worldview. I studied the Bible like crazy. I volunteered at different places. I did a marathon and an iron man and I learned how to swim laps the right way. Sounds silly, I know. But for me, it was adventure. I also met lots of new friends, guys and girls. I made some amazing best friends that I still keep in touch with today. We stayed up late, laughed, encouraged and challenged each other, went to movies, dinner, the beach, and whatever else you can think of. Doing all these things helped me to not be so self-focused while I was single.

I encourage you to take risks, be bold, and find a new adventure! Maybe you can’t go on a mission trip or move somewhere new, but you can find something new to try right where you’re at – you just have to do it!

No matter what season of life you are in, it is a journey where we are always walking with The One, holding His hand, and finding true love in Him. Even after being married and all the times I have run to other things looking for satisfaction, I have still come to find that He is everything I will ever need and nothing satisfies like He does, whether single or not. I hope you are encouraged and challenged to make the most of your life, exactly right where you are at!

-Brooke