Life, Liberty and yep you have it: the pursuit of happiness – is one of the most well-known phrases in America. This famous phrase in the Declaration of Independence represents the rights given to all humans by their Creator. An undeniable truth, but let’s not forget my title, Life Is NOT About Happiness. The term happiness has been perverted by our culture, redefined to mean: self-gratification. Thomas Jefferson’s words were entirely valid, and they were based on scripture. Yet when you look at the world and what they call “pursuing happiness” it’s not scriptural at all.
Happiness in today’s definition is a loaded term; it’s all about being led by our desires. We’ve all heard someone say, “Just do what makes you happy,” or I love this one, “Follow your heart.” Our culture basically tells us that if it doesn’t satisfy you, don’t do it. Or if you want it, well by golly, you’ve got to have it! This mindset has transferred into the undertones of today’s dating culture, and it’s not only dangerous, but it’s deceptive. The cultural expectation of pursuing “happiness” leads us into placing our fulfillment on being in a relationship. Not all the urges we have are things that we should pursue.
Before I hear the rebuttal, we do deserve to be happy – it’s not wrong to have a desire for fulfillment. God gave us a holy desire to be united with a partner under marriage. However, happiness should be a product of a healthy relationship, not the basis of your foundation with that person. Anything standing on emotion alone is a foundation placed on sand, and you know what that means – Mathew 7:26. Marriage will be about service not self-fulfillment. Ask any successful married couple, and they’ll tell ya! Individuals who seek to find happiness in someone really aren’t seeking happiness at all; they’re trying to fill a void.
I’m going to interrupt this program and give the official disclaimer: This blog is NOT me saying that having an amazing man/woman won’t bring some happiness into our lives. God has RICHLY blessed me with a Godly man. We look like one of those swirl ice cream cones, y’all know those? Yasssss Jesus, HE IS GOOD!! Relationships are a blessing, they are originated by God, but they are not the source of where our happiness comes from.
Happiness in its original – un-perverted form – is joy. The possession of joy is not only a blessing but a choice. It’s given to us freely, but we must choose to develop it and walk in it (Galatians 5:22). This is the right we have: to choose joy in every circumstance. Understand something, choosing joy is hard, but it is available for us to have. I personally have only begun to taste the true joy God has given me during this season. And let me tell you, it is so sweet and rich I REFUSE to let a single crumb go to waste. I fully intend to get my feast on and grubbbb. #HolyTurnUp
This season of singleness (understanding that you’re single until you’re married) is not only a time of preparation to better ourselves, but it’s a time to establish who God has made you to be and discover who you are in Christ. In fact, it’s my goal to be completely whole in Christ and mature in character before I ever zip up my wedding dress. If I ever want to achieve this goal for myself, I must redefine singleness. And that is what Unescorted is all about.
Join the conversation (**new vlog next week) and get involved with the Unescorted community so that we can all learn, experience and grow to maximum capacity TOGETHER. You think I say these things because I’ve got it all figured out? Don’t let the fancy blog fool you; I am living this out every single day just like you. Striving to learn to be a better person in my downfalls and seeking wisdom every step of the way. The purpose of this blog is all about community; we find strength and encouragement in numbers. So go! Quit seeking fulfillment and happiness in friends, boo thangs, or anyone else. Love God. Love yourself. Find contentment in God’s timing for your life and until marriage, be #Unescorted and proud!!
XOXO – Sonia Dee.