Are You Emotionally Whole?

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We are so excited for you to hear from Sonia Larcom. She is one of our in-house authors and one of the founders of            U N E S C O R T E D. 

You can always connect with her more on Instagram / Facebook / Linkedin  – hope you guys enjoy this weeks blog post on emotional wholeness!

 

Okay so don’t judge me, but I have a confession: I love listening to talk radio. But not just talk radio – I’m the person who always has a sermon blaring in the car and if I owned a TV I’d probably always have TBN on. In the past 2 years I’ve heard bits and pieces from of a sermon from Rick Warren called “Picking a life Partner.” Each time I heard the rerun of this message on the radio – it gave me a new perspective on Christian Dating. In this sermon he discusses the biblical pre-requisites for marriage and one of the items on the list was: emotional wholeness – is the person you’re dating emotionally whole?

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You see, the concept of marrying someone who is emotionally stable is pretty common sense. We all know it’s a red-flag if he say’s he loves you after two weeks, or calls multiple times if you don’t answer – and if you didn’t know that was a red flag let me tell you now: Run girl. Run for your life.

But this is the thing, there is a difference between emotional stability and emotional wholeness. There are many amazing men and women out in the world who are emotionally stable but aren’t emotionally whole. This realization was so incredibly profound to me because it gave me a word to describe what I wanted for my own life: wholeness. I had been healed of deep emotional wounds, and I was stable but I wasn’t whole.

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This is where people get confused because they will equate healing with wholeness. Let me show you the distinction: In Mark 3:1-6 Jesus restored a man’s hand that was completely withered. People would easily say “Jesus healed the man with the withered hand, ” and thats incorrect! That man didn’t need a healing, he needed wholeness – Jesus restored his hand! Made is whole! Most of the time healing and wholeness do work hand in hand but they are very different (Pun definitely not intended).

I will use my life as an example: I am a fatherless woman. I can truly say that I am healed of any emotional wound of not having a father but its just like that guys hand, it was an area of my life that was withered. I’m sure the man with the withered hand figured out how to compensate for the hand he was dealt (I’m sorry for the puns). I’m sure he figured out a way to put on his clothes with one hand, feed himself with one hand and be a stable person with just one hand. This was me, I had adapted to the handicap of not having a father. It’s a handicap not because I pitied myself, it was a handicap because I was missing a crucial role in my life that God intended for me to have. Jesus didn’t restore the mans hand because he pitied him, Jesus himself knows how resilient human beings are, he knew that this man could find a way to live life with just one hand – thats not the point! Jesus restored him because God intended for us all to have two fully functioning hands!

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God knows that you are able to adapt from the losses of this life and still cary on – how do you think nonbelievers are able to keep moving forward! I’m telling you, we are so resilient! But God doesn’t just want you to exist and adapt to the areas in your life that are withered – he wants to make you completely whole! He has done that in my life. Earlier in the post I called myself a Fatherless woman – and even typing that felt wrong because I’m no longer a Fatherless woman – I have a Heavenly Father now and he has completely restored that withered area of my life. You know, I’ve met multiple people who have later told me that they were shocked that I was raised by a single mother; because they were convinced I had a strong father in my life. God gets all the glory for making me so whole in this area it was as if I really did grow up with a godly father. Understand something: what he’s done in my life, he will do in yours. I don’t know what areas of your life that are withered, but during this season of single hood let the Lord restore you and make you completely whole.

I really want to dive more into this topic of wholeness so be looking for a future post on this subject! I love you guys and I’m so thankful for U N E S C O R T E D – a community where we can truly share our hearts and glean from one another! Don’t forget to #jointheconversation and let us know your thoughts on emotional wholeness?

Until Then  – XOXO

Sonia Dee

Current Condition

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“I am so excited for you guys to hear from someone so significant to me and my walk with God. Shelby Stewart is one of my dearest friends – her heart for God is inspiring. It’s not very often you find a young woman with such a drive to serve and honor God. In this message she is very transparent and I know you guys will be blessed by it! Shelby, I love you –  I hope you guys enjoy!”        – Sonia Larcom,

U N E S C O R T E D Author & Founder 

 

Here we are, 2017- a brand new year. Something about it, the newness of a year, gets us excited. Perhaps it gives us hope; and for a lot of us a hope that things will change in 2017  – we will change. If we’re being honest, though, the new year doesn’t really change anything. The first day of 2017 didn’t miraculously change us, our state of mind, thoughts, walk with God, or relationships. Truthfully, we enter 2017 in the same condition we left 2016. And, how many of us find ourselves in a place of complacency accepting our current condition?

When I say current condition – I am not talking about your condition of singleness, but I’m talking about conditions in your life during this season. The struggles you experienced in 2016 can be changed if we allow God to change us in 2017. He has given us power over our condition. All throughout Scripture, especially when Jesus walked the earth, God revealed how deeply He cares about our human condition, all of it: spiritual, physical, and our overall well being. Not only does He care, but He is out to improve our current conditions. For example, Jesus went out and healed bodies (physical), cast out demons (spiritual), and taught us what we need to know to live holy lives and be close to the Father (improving our character). He healed, freed, and taught people in the midst of their current conditions. He does this for us today, too.

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This is good news- it means in 2017 we don’t have to stay the same! I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want to stay in this same state forever.  And, in this single season it’s all the more important to allow God to work on our conditions to make us better NOW (better, not perfect) – rather than start once we get married. The only way we will walk out all of our news year resolutions in 2017 is if we: recognize our current condition, believe for change, and then allow God to change us.

For each of us, this may look different. Some may need God’s freedom from a current condition of an addiction, bad habit, a healing, a needed revelation or just Gods help with self-control, patience, or even prayer. Whatever area(s) it might be for each of us, one thing remains, whether we believe it or not: we all need improved in some way. But most importantly we all need God’s grace and strength to help us get there- it’s sufficient and perfect (2 Cor 12:9).

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To be vulnerable, one area I was in complete bondage was food: overeating and no self-control. I was in a constant cycle of trying to over-control in an unhealthy manner. The cycle of shame and torment I experienced from this sinful habit was consuming and often sucked the joy of life right out of me. I was deceived in believing this was a condition I would be stuck in my whole life. Then, the Holy Spirit gave me a word about not accepting things that steal, kill, or destroy (John 10:10). This cycle of sin and shame most certainly did steal, kill and destroy (so thank God He is helping me through and freeing me in this area before sending me a husband!!!) So, if something in any way steals, kills, or destroys we should not accept it because it is obviously not of God: the Father of Truth; but instead of the devil: the father of lies (John 8:44). Over time I finally believed my current condition does not have to be my “forever condition”, and oh how relieved it has made me. Even in the darkest pit of shame He revealed He can indeed change these sinful habits and make me new . . . and free (Gal 5:1, 2 Cor 5:17). He’s out to improve us in whatever way we need or desire- right in the middle of our current condition. Day-by-day (2 Cor 4:16).

God is showing us we don’t have to simply “accept” things in our lives that aren’t of Him. Sickness, disease, addiction, jealousy, envy, apathy, self-hate, condemnation, complacency, shame, guilt, discouragement, and the like are not of Him. We don’t have to accept them as “normal” or “stuck” as part of our condition. Resist the lies! Then, God needs our faith and belief, willingness and obedience- even when we don’t see change or improvement. More often than not it’s a process.

Honestly, I am still a total work in progress (Sonia knows firsthand) and fall short far too often, in my opinion. However, the difference now is I have hope, hope for real change over time in multiple areas. Like I said earlier you have to recognize your current condition, believe for change, and then allow God to change you! And when I doubt His promises of victory over this area in my life, He brings me right back to a chapter I’ve found great assurance in; Psalm 103. It’s just one example of many where His Word gives us confirmation that He is out to renew, restore, reconcile, heal, deliver, and set people free from all things through Jesus Christ. In other words, whatever new years resolution you’ve made for 2017 – he is able to transform you from your current condition – so let him!

Happy New Year!!

Shelby Stewart

Social Media Handle: @shelbystewart