Wow guys, I am SO excited for you to read my Moms blog post! I am probably most excited because she can personally speak from experience to all of the single women who are doing this with babies on their hips! My mom is the definition of resilience and I am just so thankful for the wisdom she has poured out. For this wisdom is given to y’all for free but it came at a high price to her. I love you mom! Hope you guys enjoy.
– Sonia Dee
A Word From Laura:
First of all, I am dying to read the other mother’s blog. I have waited so I would not be influenced from what they have to say. I have made fast friends with these two mom’s through the friendships of our daughters and we all have many common threads that have linked us together. Our common personality traits are strength of character, confidence, and mad mom skills. They are two very amazing, strong women that have raised beautiful young women that are making an impact on this world.
When I first heard about this concept the girls had, I was excited to see what teachings they had in store. This subject is very near and dear to my heart and I’m not talking about just being single. I am talking about making yourself whole – doing it while you are single is a great time. A great time to get to know God and build that relationship with him. A great time to get to know yourself even, expose your weaknesses and get to know your strengths. Acknowledge your downfalls but magnify your strengths and build from them. It is a great time to become the best woman that you can be.
Sonia, Cyrae and MiKayla talk about the season of being single and some of their adventures but they have not mentioned what I consider to be really important. These young women have started businesses, took up new hobbies like photography, piano, singing, drove through 5 new states, tried new foods that are way out of their normal pallet and blogging. Most importantly these women are PAYING for their OWN education. Yes, it can happen and if you are worried about how to pay for school, then you just do it. You work and study hard. This does not mean give up all your personal life. Look what these girls are uncovering about themselves and still getting it done. You can do it too! I believe in women and I believe in their strengths. We are an amazing creation. Did you hear me? We are an amazing creation. You are an amazing creation.
I’m going to begin this article with my thoughts on these young women and the message they are delivering. I am the single mother here and I’m going to provide you with my thoughts on being a single mother and how to gain courage, inspire you to be great, be you, and be the woman you are meant to be during this single season. You do not need a man to complete you! You need one that compliments who you are already. My message is if you feel co-dependent on a man or you are always worried about getting one then hunny you need to get single or stay single and start living. LIVE, grow, strengthen yourself and everything else will come into place.
Let me be clear. I had/have every confidence in myself and I still struggled. Actually I had a moment that I broke. I have been a single mom for a dozen years. In the beginning after my divorce I chose to be single because my children were so young and the changes were many. Eventually my ex turned to the tides of revenge and drug me to court to a tune of 98 times. He did not supply child support and had become a master to find ways to try to break my children. I spent a whole lot of time praying for strength, bare necessities, sleep, money, and sometimes on occasion someone to rescue me.
I did not have to suffer this alone and not all of it was suffering. I loved being a mom and was pretty alive most of the time. I have an amazing family, and even though they do not live close they were always there when I needed them. I had friends – lots of them – one cannot have too many. And they offered support, love and on occasion would slip money into an unmarked envelop and leave in my mail box never to revel themselves. I had church friends that prayed and provided the means for Christmas one year. I had co-workers provided it for another. It was years of turmoil that came and went but now it has gone and I HAVE A VOICE. I will use it to encourage you that NOTHING is too great for you to survive. God is good and sometimes I just prayed for him to grant me rest. I just needed rest to get back up all over again and face the next day.
Now let’s talk briefly about when I broke. I had enough, I had e-n-o-u-g-h. I was convinced God had given me more than I could handle. I cursed his very name and turned my back from him. I had to be single and alone for me to realize how dark it was without him. It was my children that provided the encouragement to return to him. They provided the encouragement to pull myself back together and come back from the living dead. My hormones flat lined and I was making less than a menopausal woman – at age 38. Anger and hatred had taken hold of me and I was tired! The days came and went and I survived. For the most part I have gotten to a point that only the good memories surface when I recall this time in my life. I clawed my way back and you can too if you are broken and lost. You can interpret broken and lost how you wish as we all have a version of it.
If I had one bucket to give you from my pool of wisdom is just be creative. Some of our best traditions came out of being broke. Our electricity got turned off one year on Valentine’s Day, but my oven still worked so I made a spaghetti dinner and put it on pretty plates. I made a multi-course meal with what I had and followed it with dessert. I lit candles and I had the most romantic dinner with my children. It has become a tradition we still have. We have countless other traditions that have come out of being creative since we simply did not have the funds to do anything else. Seriously, I have two grown adult daughters who hold me to so many of these traditions! But when they do, it makes me smile. All children want is your attention anyway so it would be a picnic in a park with PB&J’s for all they care. They want you to laugh and joke and love them. We would play hours of tag or rock skipping on the lake or just hanging out together. Cash is not needed for that. Although sometimes it didn’t seem like it, looking back we always had provisions. God always provided at just the right time. We may not have had a lot, but we had enough. To this day any one of my children will tell you, when they call with a problem I tell them two words: BE CREATIVE. You will gain confidence in yourself and how resourceful you really are. No matter what you are going through or how old you are it’s easy to focus on what you don’t have in a season; but when you start being creative with what you do have – and you might have to try really hard – you will find fulfillment.
As for me I am loving life again. God has proven himself faithful in my life and I believe this is only the beginning stages of the Joy and fulfillment God has for me – the best really is yet to come! So do what you need to build yourself up. Reach out to others and ask for help. Do what needs to be done to get where you want to be. That will mean something different to every person reading this. Be single, be alive, be you and please be creative! Explore, grow, and be happy where you are. A man will come if that is what you want but make sure he is what will compliment you. You are beautiful. Let you light shine ladies!
If you want to reach out I am available to you, you can message me here.
Until Next time peeps.